I often heard the expression "A relationship always means work". The word "work" is of course negatively afflicted and means as much as
"effort" or "sacrifice". A few years ago, the subject was raised in my circle of friends. A friend of mine said then that he refused to accept that sentence. In his opinion, a relationship
was always simple and everything turned out by itself. I see the whole thing a little more differentiated and think that we would have to take a closer look at two things
1. What do we actually understand by work?
Work is, by its definition, "a planned activity to produce or create results"- in other words, nothing negative or necessarily strenuous. We have to do something to get something - nothing more, nothing less. And what exactly do we have to do to be able to enter into a partnership? Well. Basically nothing. We can decide to change our relationship status overnight, provided the feelings are right and the other person agrees. ;-) So starting relationship isn't work and honestly it's pretty easy.
But what if we want to maintain this relationship over a longer period of time? There are many reasons why relationships can fail. For example, two people can differ so much in their views or their daily lives, that they have to realize that it just won`t work. It is also possible that there are circumstances like distance or similar, which do not allow us to maintain this relationship.
However, too often partnerships fail because of other things such as a lack of interest, a lack of willingness to compromise or the NUMBER ONE relationship killer - the infamous everyday stress. Here it is actually possible, to counteract and with a little more understanding, some willingness to communicate and a little extra effort for the partner and to make the relationship last longer.
Is he tired from work or would rather go to the cinema with his friend than with you? That's okay! Are you in a bad mood because your mother has
once again criticized you or your friend has cancelled the date? Say it and make him understand that your bad temper has nothing to do with him! Did she dress up and look amazing today? Tell her
and give her the confirmation, that she wants and needs from you!
Ok - we could definitely consider that little bit "more" as work. But if we are completely honest to ourselves, then the whole thing is not so difficult and brings damn good results! Which brings us to the second point:
2. Do you really always have to look at everything from such a negative perspective?
Yes - every person has his positive but also his negative sides, which we simply have to put away in a partnership. I would also like to push my boyfriends socks he leaves on the floor every single day instead of throwing them in the laundry basket into his mouth. But what the hell! He tolerates my obsession with Modern Family, goes to the gym with me and makes me feel like the most beautiful woman in the world every day! If you first realize that it doesn't have to be that difficult and that the small compromises you make for your partner weigh far less than the good moments together, the expression "work" is no longer so negatively afflicted.
Because in the end it only means that we do something to get something and if this "something" received is worth it, why not?
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